Why desperation can be a great motivator

Simon Bottery, Director of Fundraising, Policy and Communications for Independent Age writes:

I spent a day last week running two discussion groups in Eastbourne for a dozen or so of the older people we work with. We run the groups to have a better understanding of the issues facing older people, partly so that we can design our services to help them and partly so that we can try to influence the policies that affect older people.

The idea is that we run one discussion group in the morning and one in the afternoon, with both groups having lunch together. This means that as well as helping us understand issues, people get something out of it themselves. They usually say that they enjoy the events as an opportunity to meet and talk with other people. Sometimes participants end up swapping telephone numbers with people they’ve got on particularly well with.

The two groups we ran last week were about health and social activities. Most older people will have health conditions affecting their lives to a greater or lesser extent. However three of the participants, two of whom came with their spouses, had suffered sudden dramatic health. These changed their lives virtually overnight. They went from being active people looking forward to their retirement to struggling to even leave their homes. Like thousands of others they had sought out help where they could – from the health service, local authorities, charities, user groups. The described a lack of joined-up action, particularly in the gap between hospital and home care. One described a four-year struggle to get Attendance Allowance. There are no easy solutions in these circumstances but (another benefit of these sorts of groups) one participant could help another – in this case, signposting someone to a pain clinic they did not know existed.
Another participant described her frustration at being refused a disabled parking badge (after 13 years of having one) because East Sussex County Council had instigated new guidelines to crack-down on abuse of the previous system. Because this participant had honestly said she could walk 50 metres unaided (though not without a lot of pain) she could no longer have a badge. Again others in the group were able to suggest solutions – in this case applying via the GP to be classified as registered disabled and receiving a badge through this route.

The afternoon groups talked about social activities. For those who lived alone it was a real difficulty to find enjoyable ways of staying socially active. They feared, and sometimes experienced, days of being by themselves with no one to talk to. They described the cost of social activities like going to theatre as being beyond them (the discounts they receive are too small to make much difference), though they appreciated what they got for free, such as swimming and bus travel. But for many it was not just the cost but the idea of doing things alone that was so daunting (as it would be for someone of any age). I asked one woman what motivated her to get out by herself and go places. “Desperation,” she said. “If I don’t, I might not see anyone at all.”